Welcome back to another rare episode of Tobias' random blog posts, lol. I'm still not giving this blog enough attention. At this point I'm not even sure if having a blog is even worth it.
But anyways, getting to the point...
If you're one of the few who has actually been here keeping up with my posts, you know that this has been a hell of a roller coaster year for my family and myself. There was so much that was suppose to change this year. But it has just been a non-stop tumbleweed of problems. I think I've done pretty well at keeping my head up as high as I could through all of it. I kept grinding away at my work. Kept doing shows. Kept looking for a steady job or stream of income. And I was hoping that we would've got over the hill by now.
If you're lost at this point and don't know what I'm talking about, I invite you to go back and read a few of my previous posts from this year (and there aren't really that many).
After a final yet semi-disappointing Comic Convention at the end of October, during this here month of November things finally started looking up. Both my wife and I finally started real jobs. So a steady stream of income will start flowing in. Next step is to get our butts out of my in-laws' house and into our own. And we have a potential lead for a house, but the process of obtaining that has turned out to be yet again another challenge. We were expecting some funds from a CLASSIFIED source to help us with the move-in expenses (deposit, first, last, etc). But that door of opportunity has closed. So now we're trying to figure out how in the hell we're gonna get in there if we get approved.
As mentioned above. I've been trying to keep my head high. But I'm getting mentally exhausted. I feel like I'm back at the START line. My wife is now working full time. I'm working Part-time (Seasonal). And when I'm not working, I'm home with our daughter, trying to chip away at my own work and pending commissions. I literally feel like I'm working 4 jobs with nothing to show for it. Which is what I was doing at the beginning of the year, minus the part-time job.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not writing this to get sympathy. I'm writing this to vent. I'm writing this because it is easier for me to put feelings and emotions into writing or drawing than it is to talk to someone. It helps clear my head. Which makes me feel like I should do this more often, wether it is negative or positive. And I don't think all this is negative. I know there are plenty of people worst off in this world. But I needed to get all this out so that all of this doesn't turn into an excuse for not getting done what I need to get done. These past few weeks I feel like my mind and body have been slowing down. I've skipped the gym more days than I'd like. Which affects me mentally and physically. I've turned to eating crap food, which in combination with not working out has lead to gaining more weight than I would've liked. Which affects me mentally and physically, again. Which in turn affects everything else in my life including art. I need to get my shit together quick before it tumbles out of control.
So, I'm determined to finish this year out strong. After I'm done typing this I will be headed to the gym to sweat out all this negativity. When I get back, I will shower and wash all this negativity off my body. Then I'm gonna spend some time with my daughter, maybe play some Disney Infinity, and get my mood up. And then I'm gonna get back to the grind and stay up as late as it takes to finish up pending projects and commissions. I will no longer use the term "I don't have time" as an excuse to not get things done. The reality is, there is always time. If there isn't time, you can make time. As Arnold once said "There are 24 hours in a day. You sleep six hours and have 18 hours left. Now, I know there are some of you out there that say; well, wait a minute, I sleep eight hours or nine hours. Well, then, just sleep faster"
I will not be defeated by this year. I've fought for 11 months, I'm not going down in the 12th.
Lots to look forward to next year.
(please feel free to share your struggles below. Let's make this a positive and inspiring post to take us through the year)